Musings of a crunchy, domestic goddess

Just another mama musing about her kids, Attachment Parenting, activism, photography, and life in general

more on putting myself “out there” April 19, 2007

Filed under: Family and Friends,My life — amygeekgrl @ 11:32 am

Thanks to all of you for your comments and support regarding my last post. Lots of good food for thought there.

I’ve been thinking more about this topic and wanted to clarify some things for myself (and anyone else who wants to read it). I said in my comments that part of my issue with putting myself out there is that family reads my blog, so that makes me tentative to post about certain things. However I want to clarify that that doesn’t mean I’m stewing, wanting to talk/write smack about my family or anything. I feel that some things that are a part of my life/family’s life seem a little too personal for me to blog about, even though there are times I’d like to get them off my chest.

My bigger issue really is that, like it or not, I’m a people pleaser. You might think it’s odd that I like to avoid confrontation, while in the same breath I admit I like to blog about controversial things from time to time. I like to share my opinions, however I’m not good about letting the negative responses I receive slide off my back. I tend to carry that negativity around with me for a while and I know that’s not healthy. That may be why I’ve avoided writing about controversial topics lately. I don’t want the negativity that they seem to bring.

I want to be liked and respected for my thoughts and opinions. I try hard not to trash other people for their opinions, while still reserving my right to disagree.

Perhaps in the next week or so, I will post a challenge to myself and those of you who are interested (MB – thanks for suggesting this in your comments), to post about a topic of your choosing on your blog with complete honesty. (Maybe it could be a topic that you’ve avoided writing about in the past, but really want to put out there.) Then you can respond to let me know that you posted and I’ll link to everybody’s raw, honest posts. Anyone up for the challenge?

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14 Responses to “more on putting myself “out there””

  1. Penny Says:

    I’m like you – I’m a people pleaser and dislike confrontation, and I have issues with negative criticism. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to meet your challenge yet which may make my blog kind of boring but I possibly need to find a topic I’m passionate about to do so.

  2. C-ster Says:

    I was just reminded by reading your blog how much I love and admire you. :)

  3. amamasblog Says:

    I may be up for the challenge…LMK!

  4. K Says:

    i’m up for any challenge involving honesty…
    i appreciate yours in this matter, Amy!
    Keep up the great work… honestly! :)

  5. Amy Says:

    Hmmm… I’m still debating. I do say it like it is in my world, but I don’t tend to pick controversial topics that are hot in our society and add more fuel to the fire. My blog could easily turn into a political pit, and that’s not my intention. I’m not an activist, but I am an advocate of peace.

    Topics that brew anger and hostility are ones I tend not to focus on, and often times I don’t feel a need to explain myself. For example, I’ve stated in the past in my blog that we have not circumcised our son. I don’t go into all my reasoning for it because I don’t owe anybody an explanation. People in general have too high a need to justify their opinions to others. I suppose if I got comments on my blog asking me questions as to why I decided not to circumcise I would answer them, but I personally don’t need to do a ton of research to justify every opinion I’ve come to the conclusion of having.

    That’s just me, and others are different. I notice that you, Amy, tend to have many well researched topics on your blog that back up your opinions. I think that’s great and I’ve learned alot from your posts. My approach to my blog is a little bit different (hence far fewer readers too, but that’s alright – we have a different purpose!)

    Take care. :)

  6. I was thinking about this as I posted pics to Shutterfly for my family today. I have this ongoing dilemma…I know it upsets my MIL to see pics of the kids with my side of the family. I don’t want to hurt her. For a long time I posted all my pics with my parents in them privately so I wouldn’t hurt MIL’s feelings. Eventually MIL had a big enough fight that I became indignant. I decided that these are MY pictures and S & Q are MY kids and it’s not my problem if MIL gets upset. The fact is that my parents spend a lot more time with the kids than my ILs do. I am sorry for that for a lot of reasons, but I’ve stopped trying to protect MIL from the truth. So now I post everything on the main site and send her an invite. At first she was hurt. We’d be getting along until I posted pics of my parents and the kids and then MIL would stop speaking to me for awhile. Lately she seems to have chilled a bit and will comment on pics that involve my family.

    It is hard! I still want everyone to be happy, but I want ME included in that and it makes me happy to post MY pictures where my extended family can access them. But I still feel bad for MIL :)

  7. Stacy Says:

    I try to avoid controversy, too. I don’t know that my blog is the type that would really play well with controversial topics, but the things you address are well thought out. Bravo on that.

    I have addressed a few things but tend to keep it low key. I hate controversy and some hate mail would make me feel awful for days.

  8. barbaralee Says:

    “My bigger issue really is that, like it or not, I’m a people pleaser. You might think it’s odd that I like to avoid confrontation, while in the same breath I admit I like to blog about controversial things from time to time. I like to share my opinions, however I’m not good about letting the negative responses I receive slide off my back. I tend to carry that negativity around with me for a while and I know that’s not healthy. That may be why I’ve avoided writing about controversial topics lately. I don’t want the negativity that they seem to bring.”

    I could have written that statement! … which is why my blod is so empty right now… eh, maybe I’ll get more courage (and a backbone) some day soon.

  9. cturpen Says:

    Good call. Complete honesty…it’s harder than it sound. I’ll play!

  10. [...] 24th, 2007 I’m fulfilling Amy’s challenge to write about something with complete [...]

  11. [...] Mothering, My life — amygeekgrl @ 9:49 pm In the spirit of putting more of myself “out there,” here it is, as promised – my completely honest [...]

  12. [...] while ago my friend, Amy, put a challenge on her blog for venturing out of our “blog safety zone”, and putting yourself ‘out [...]


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